Body image dissatisfaction among women and men is increasing at alarming rates. This is especially true for big people because they seem to be one of the last groups in our culture against whom people are openly prejudiced. Comedians make fun of them, health professionals often describe them as lacking discipline or lazy, and fitness instructors are often insensitive to their needs. Many people internalize these negative reactions; this can affect their body image, self-image and the way they interact in the world.

We develop certain views about our body and our self, based on experiences that occurred early in our life, the way other people respond to us, or how closely we fit the beauty ideals of the culture in which we live. If these circumstances have led us to feel negative about ourselves, we become acclimated to this negative view and it affects how we behave. For instance, you might decide that because you are a plus-sized female, you will never be seen as feminine and attractive. Or: because you are a larger man, you can never become athletic and train for a marathon. In other words, you get stuck inside a cage of your own making. Even though you might be miserable there, you are too frightened to venture outside the cage.

Have courage
I would like to encourage you to be courageous, to step outside the cage. Let go of those outdated versions of yourself that cage you in. Embrace the possibility of change. The following tips can help you create a new vision for your body and self:

1. Become the writer of the next chapter of your life instead of a character acting out roles that were written by someone else (parents, partners, culture, etc.). Remember, we can't control what has happened in the past, but we can control what happens now. You can teach people how to talk about and treat you. Take yourself seriously enough to engage in self-care through exercise, good nutrition and planned periods of relaxation throughout the day. You can keep a list of all the positive body behaviors you engage in each day and create an entirely new body image.

2. Determine a realistic weight and shape based on your genetics, metabolism, bone structure and amount of time you have to exercise. Our culture teaches us that you are powerful if you can make yourself look like the present ideal of beauty. That's extrinsic power. Redefine power. Stop looking outside of yourself to figure out what the ideal body is. Instead, look within and set your own goals for a healthy body ideal. Research has shown that individuals who reject beauty ideals and create their own ideal have a more positive body image regardless of their weight and shape.

3. Once you determine a healthy ideal for yourself, develop a lifestyle to support it. Begin by drawing a circle and marking the percentage of time you spend each day on certain daily activities (work, household chores, exercise, relaxation, etc). Draw a second circle and show how you would need to change your schedule and redistribute your time to reach your new body ideal. Maybe it means you have to work 90 minutes less each day or organize a carpool to free up extra time. Remember: you can't expect different results by the doing the same thing. You must put time aside to reach your goal or you will set yourself up for failure.

Don't get stuck within your imaginary cage. Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and create a more positive body image for yourself.

Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke is the Director of the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. She is an adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Cincinnati and the University of Miami (Oxford, Ohio). In addition to having lectured at more than 150 conferences and written extensively on the treatment of eating disorders, body image disturbance and self-esteem, Dr. Cooke has been featured on the Today Show, the CBS Morning Show and the Oprah Winfrey Show.

She is a contributing writer at Built2XL which is committed to motivating and empowering big people everywhere to achieve their personal fitness, sports and wellness goals. By helping big people thrive, we hope to empower them to live each day to its fullest potential and to always Dream Big.